Paradise
by Silver Skyline
Summary: Rachel loves Harvey and she's sure that he reciprocates those feelings. But his lack of vulnerability and demonstration of affection especially after Donna's fired from the firm leave Rachel questioning whether or not being with him is the best decision. Set during Harvey's trip to Atlantic City! They're going to have a "gown situation" ;
1. Paradise

So, as you can see yet _another_ new story. I know I have some TVD fics that I need to get back to but I just can't find any inspiration or those yet. Hopefully, once the season starts up again I'll find my groove again lol.

This story had been a long time in the making. I was going through the Harvey x Rachel tag a while ago and I just felt inspired to write something for them. For those of you that may be like WTF how'd they establish this relationship? I'm sorry about that but I just didn't feel like having to do a whole intro and then slowly develop their relationship. Maybe, I'll do that in a future story ;)

But, for this one _yes_ they are established and _yes _Mike does work at the firm and _yes_ Donna has been fired. If I do decide to continue on it will revolve around Harvey's gambling moment in Atlantic City. But instead of having a tux situation with Mike he's going to recruit Rachel's help.

I know this is very short, but I promise you if I decide to continue the chapters will be a lot longer and they'll have more depth. Just needed a starting off point!

Tell me what you guys think! Continue, One-shot, or just scrap the whole idea?

Any visions about where to develop this story are much loved and appreciated.

As always, love you guys a lot!

Xoxo Stefany.

* * *

**Paradise.**

When she was just a girl she expected the world,  
But it flew away from her reach,  
So she ran away in her sleep:  
Dreamed of paradise,  
Every time she closed her eyes.  
The wheel breaks the butterfly.  
Every tear, a waterfall.  
In the night, the stormy night she closed her eyes.  
In the night, the stormy night away she flied.

* * *

The offices of Pearson Hardman were desolate. Only a handful of lights remained lit, the majority of those that worked at the firm had retreated to their homes hours ago. Rachel Zane was not one of them; she couldn't bring herself to leave the confines of her office. Everything was falling apart and no viable solution was within her reach. What pained the young paralegal the most was the fact that she was being kept in the dark by those she cared about. Donna wasn't returning her phone calls, Mike was distant and would only talk to her if it involved hatching a plan to get the flamboyant secretary to return and Harvey had created a wall between them that she couldn't break no matter how hard she tried. All these people claimed to love her and to want what's best for her yet they were all tearing her apart. Every day that passed was agonizing for the petite brunette. Having to see the man she loved fighting a battle that he seemed to be losing yet not bothering to refuge himself in her. _He doesn't trust me…_The thought lingered in her mind every minute of every hour of every day. It taunted her; a constant reminder that maybe Harvey _was_ the womanizer everyone claimed him to be.

Rachel looked at the endless of stack of files that were splayed across her desk. Lately it seemed that her workload only increased with every hour of the workday. Louis needed her to summarize cases. Jessica wanted to know if there were any discrepancies on random cases they had won years ago. Mike was constantly needing her help to figure out a way to get Donna back. If a single soul asked the young paralegal for another favor she was sure she'd toss the nearest stapler at their head. Running her fingers through her brunette locks she stood from the leather chair and inched to the window. Removing her four inch heels off of her aching feet she sat on the windowsill and watched as a trail of taillights crawled across the streets and the tiny ant like figures that were still roaming the sidewalks. All she wanted was to go home, climb into her white linen bed sheets and thumb through the last few pages of Eat, Pray, Love. _I should probably go home now...There's no way I'll finish getting through those files even if I stay here all night. _Resting her head against the taupe wall she took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Every muscle in her body begged Rachel to remain seated. The mere idea of pulling on the platform shoes and hailing a cab in the middle of the night sent a shiver through her body. Grabbing her black leather purse from the corner of her desk Rachel quickly shut off all the lights within her small office.

Stepping into the hallway she noticed that the entire firm was completely pitch black except for a small flicker of light that was emitted from the end of the hallway. "Harvey..." She knew it was him. He was the only person at the firm that would rather spend their entire night in his office than go home. It was how he coped with the things that troubled his mind. Every fiber of her being urged her to make sure he was okay. The whispers in her head begged for the young paralegal to extend yet another olive branch out to him. What she felt for him was undeniable but she was tired of being hurt. One look into his ochre orbs and she was sure she'd crumble. _God…what the hell am I supposed to do?…_It would be easy to crawl into the nearest elevator, listen to Coldplay on her iPhone as she counted every floor that melted away and pretend she hadn't noticed that he was still in his office, sulking about a problem he didn't dare share with her. Taking a deep breath Rachel placed the stack of files she had been carrying beneath her arm as she walked towards the senior partners office. Knocking lightly on the glass door Rachel watched as Harvey slowly pulled his gaze away from the spinning record only a few feet away. He didn't dare meet her ochre hues, his gaze simply lingering on the ground beneath her Jimmy Choos.

"I was just about to go home and I saw the light to your office was still on. Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm fine. I'll head out in a bit."

A look of concern was painted across her face. Inching into his office scared the young paralegal. It was like invading his sanctuary, it was a place he hadn't fully opened up to her yet. Yes, she had crawled her way into his life but there were still things that he kept hidden away in the deepest parts of him. Xenophobia: the fear of the unknown. The only thing that frightened Rachel was the uncertainty of not being able to pick his brain. He constantly kept her at arms length. The moment she would capture a small glimmer of his true person he would shut down, creating an icy barrier between them. She couldn't begin to wrap her mind around why he constantly chose to hurt her like this. Yes, he voiced his love for her many times but it wasn't enough. Rachel needed Harvey to _show_ her that what he said was true. She needed to know that she wasn't just wasting her time on a lost cause.

"Okay…Just don't stay too long." Rachel inched slowly towards the crystal door, her hand lingering on the metal handle. "Good night, Mr. Specter." Reverting back to formality left a bitter taste on the tip of her tongue. Yet, uttering his name would only deepen the wound. Her hand slipped from the handle and landed with a loud thump against her thigh. _I should have just gone straight for the elevator…_

"Rachel…" Harvey slipped his hand into the left pocket of his Burberry trousers, feeling the cool metal object between his thumb and index finger he pulled out a pair of keys. "Take the car. It's too late for you to be hailing a cab. I'll call Ray to come pick me up when I'm done here."

"I'm a big girl Mr. Specter, I've been taking care of myself long before you came along."

"I know you can, but I want you to take it. I don't want anything happening to you." His voice was a mere whisper, had she not been hanging on his every word she wouldn't have heard the tinge of concern that was hidden in his voice. Making her way over to him she retrieved the keys, the insignia catching her attention almost instantly. He was granting her access to his prized possession. "The Corvette? I'd rather just take a cab."

"Take it. I know you're not going to go and gamble it away at the nearest casino."

_You'd be surprised…_ "Okay. But, tell Ray to come pick up the keys right after he takes you home."

Harvey simply lowered his gaze back onto the file that was sitting on his lap, a small smirk creating a crease at the corner of his lips. "You're unbelievable you know that."

"I know…" Rachel folded her arms across her chest, small wrinkles forming against grey knee length dress that hugged her body. Staring at him intently she could feel her breath become caught in her throat. _Why did he have to be so damn attractive?_ Small creases formed along his eyelids every time he smiled, everyday clothing looked incredible against his muscular frame and the way he looked at her. His hues always meeting hers as though he was sorting out all the bullshit and just looking at her, the _real_ her. "…I'm also damn adorable."

"Hmmm _and_ arrogant." Harvey retorted playfully.

"Takes one to know one." Rachel hovered over him for a few moments watching as he skimmed with his index finger all the bylaws that were scrawled across the sheet. The feel of his tresses between her fingers created a smile against her pink stained lips. Pushing back a stray strand of ash brown hair she kissed his forehead, allowing the warm scent of his cologne to intoxicate all her senses. It was a childish demonstration of affection but it worked for them. Their small embraces that others would categorize as "sibling affection" meant a lot more to Rachel than sex did. In all her past relationships sex was a tool you held over your partner when you needed them to do something they weren't to fond of. But with Harvey, it had been more than just an escapade. She would find herself wrapped in his arms, his fingertips traveling up and down her back and the scent of wine and sex enveloping the room.

"Be careful." The sleepiness in his eyes had subdues the piercing shades of green and gold that flickered in his orbs.

"I'm an excellent driver."

"You're a _terrible_ driver. The amount of rode rage in that tiny body of yours amazes me." Feeling his hand crawl up to her face she felt a slight tug on her chin, pleading for her to come closer. Their lips brushed tenderly and it took every ounce of restraint within Rachel's frame to not climb onto his lap and straddle the older senior partner. Peeling herself away from the kiss she nipped his bottom lip gently, teasing his senses and causing the male to groan in disapproval.

"I'm tired. I'm going to go home and sleep. Something _you_ should be doing as well."

"In a bit."

"Right. You're going to end up calling me at eight in the morning to bring you in a fresh suit because you ended up spending the night in your office."

"The longer you interrupt me the longer I'm going to have to be here."

"Yet, you can't wrap your head around _why_ people think you're rude." Shaking her head Rachel walked to the glass door. Her purse in one arm and the stack of files in the other, "I love you…" She didn't need him to say it back. Lord knows she had said it enough times without receiving a response from him that at this point she was immune to his fleeting rejection. Standing in the door frame for a few moments longer, just in case he happened to utter those three little words under his breath. But, he didn't. Of course he didn't, there was just so much vulnerability he was willing to share. Shutting the door behind her she made the long walk to the nearest elevator. _Yup…I should've just gotten on this damn elevator when I had the chance…._


	2. Strong Enough

You guys have no idea how happy I am that you guys are enjoying this story! I was slightly unsure of how people would take this especially since a lot of people can only see Harvey with either Mike or Donna. Yes, those pairing are wonderful but I think there are so many other pairings that should be explored.

I in no way consider myself to be a car buff so I apologize for any inaccuracies about the description I used. I looked up as much info as possible but the stuff about the blue book value I did make up simply because of my own laziness to look up the actual value lol.

I hadn't intended on this chapter being this long I just kinda got caught up in it and before I knew it I couldn't stop writing. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Questions, Comments and Critiques are both loved and appreciated! (To be quite honest with you it's kinda what keeps me motivated to write!)

I also apologize for any grammar and sentence structure mess ups but I just write out the story in the manner that I see fits better. I know many of my structures seem odd and abrupt and I will attempt to do a better job of editing so if there are any changes you'd like to see feel free to let me know!

Much Love,

Stefany xoxo

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE:

**Next Chapter?** Harvey and Rachel take a little trip to Atlantic City!

**Updates?** I'm trying to decide what day would be the best for me to upload new chapters. I update my other suits fic every Sunday so I was thinking that maybe I'd update this one on Monday's? What do you guys think? What day would you guys like me to post updates?

* * *

**Paradise.**

I wish I was strong enough

To lift not one but both of us.

Someday, I will be strong enough

To lift not one but both of us.

You just want to live,

But everything so low you could drown in a puddle.

* * *

The cool night air brushed against her cheekbones, sending a shiver down Rachel's spine. Tightening her favorite black leather jacket around her frame she looked down at the car, it's gleaming black exterior taunting the young paralegal. Removing the keys from her left pocket she looked at them intently, a look of confusion plastered across her face. _What the hell does this all mean?_ He was unwilling to tell her he loved her yet he had been incredibly quick to grant her access to the one thing he valued more than the endless stack of records he had in his office. Feeling the coolness of the door handle against her palm she contemplated whether or not to just take a cab home. It felt like such a huge responsibility was being placed on her shoulders. The car not only had a blue book value that surpassed the amount of money she'd be able to make in a year but the sentimental value was something she would never be able to replace if something happened to the vehicle. Harvey had gone out and purchased the car the very same day he had found out Jessica was naming him senior partner. It had taken him years to track down a collector willing enough to sell him the car. It was a 1968 L88 Corvette with a pitch black finish and pristine leather seating. Of course, no air conditioner or radio was anywhere to be found in the car; Harvey always reminded her that it was because it set apart the real car enthusiast from the wanna-be's. Any guy with enough money in his pocket would go out and purchase that car on the simple fact that it had a sleek design but only someone that truly appreciated the history behind the paint job would be willing to sit behind the steering wheel during the scorching New York Summer's with no air conditioning.

Rachel ran her fingertips across the smooth surface of the steering wheel. The simple idea of sitting in the car made Rachel feel as though Harvey were there with her, she could almost smell his cologne lingering in the air with every breath she took. He was a man of mystery, every facet of himself safely tucked away and only visible to a particular few. Rachel wanted to know every part of him: his fears, dreams, aspirations. That's yet another thing that's completely unattainable to you… Placing the small metal key into the ignition the car roared steadily to life. The loud humming of the engine was like a soft lullaby in the paralegal's ears. All she wanted to do was drown in a sea of white linens and forget all about the stressful day she'd had. Pulling out of the parking garage Rachel couldn't help but feel slightly empty, _Where is this going?…_ It was a question that she tended to push to the back of her mind whenever it arose but she knew that sooner or later she would have to confront not only Harvey but herself as to what in the hell they were doing together. There were times when she felt like a simple call girl and others when she felt like the only woman in the world that was able to make him happy. She knew there would come a time when she'd want more, when she'd need a commitment from him. Whenever she had envisioned how her life would turn out none of the things she was experiencing at the moment had been a part of that fantasy. As a small girl whenever she'd daydream about her life as a grown up the key details that always stood out were being a successful lawyer, married to an amazing man and being the mother to a beautiful baby. _What do I have to be proud of? _She had failed to accomplish any of her childhood aspirations. Yes, she worked at Pearson Hardman, one of the most prestigious law firms in New York, but she was nothing more than a paralegal which in her line of work was only one step above secretary. Marriage? Rachel had put her personal life on the back burner, promising herself that the right guy would magically appear one day and her entire life would fall into place. She was about to turn thirty years old in a few months and while the rest of her siblings were busy starting a family and planning weddings Rachel found herself in an unstable relationship, unhappy with her career and childless. _Some life I've managed to create for myself..._Releasing a pain filled sigh Rachel tightened her grip on the steering wheel and attempted to drown out all the voices that were bouncing around in her head.

Pulling up to her apartment complex a sense of relief enveloped the young woman's body. Handing over the keys to the valet she informed the slender man that there would be a much older male coming to retrieve the car later that night. He nodded in agreement and pulled open the driver side door, the tail lights of the car disappearing within seconds into the confines of the garage. _Home sweet freakin' home..._ Using her house keys to press the elevator button Rachel could feel herself growing impatient with every second that passed. Taking out all of her body frustrations she continued to press the button over and over again until her hand began to ache from the effort. Looking up at the small screen above the elevator door her hues locked on the number _29_ that was slowly counting down in single increments. _Seriously?_ Rachel placed her forehead against the cool metal barrier that prevented her body from plummeting to certain death. _I just want to sleep, is that too much to ask for?_ It was like the entire planet was against her being able to rest for more than a few hours at a time. A low pitched ding echoed in the young woman's ears signaling the arrival of the elevator onto the first floor.

Entering the confines of the warmly lit contraption Rachel pressed her index finger against the small circular button that read _15_. Times like these were when she regretted having chosen a home on the fifteenth floor of the mile high building. Yes, the views from her bed were spectacular during any time of day but that didn't offer much comfort when she was trapped inside an elevator for ten minutes just to reach her home. Thankfully she reached the fifteenth floor without any interruptions. She hated it when waves of people decided to infiltrate the elevator and force her to make more stops than she would like to. Inserting her house keys into the front door Rachel turned the knob ninety degrees to right before pushing the door open with her hip. The black leather jacket suddenly became unnecessary now that she was in the warm embrace of her living room. Tossing the jacket onto the small table that was nestled near the front door she dropped her house keys into the silver plate that rested nearby. The fresh smell of lavender filled her senses the moment her Jimmy Choo's hit against the wooden floors of the kitchen. A smile spread across her lips when she noticed from the corner of her eyes a collection of flowers only an arms distance away. She made her way to the dining table to admire the floral arrangement that had been placed in the center. _Okay...maybe he's not a complete jerk..._ There was no small white card attached to the bouquet but she didn't need it. They were from Harvey, she knew they were from him. As of late he'd had the tendency to send her a beautiful floral arrangement every Thursday afternoon. It was his little way of keeping the young paralegal happy during the long and dreaded workweek. To Rachel it signified his wanting to show her that she was a very present thought in his life as well as his need to erase all the stresses that were troubling her mind. Biting her bottom lip gently she inched the crystal vase towards her frame, allowing the petals to brush along the contours of her lips. She picked up the vase gently, making sure not to spill a single drop of water onto the ground, and made her way to her bedroom. The simple sight of the New York skyline across her floor length windows was enough to ease the ache across her muscles. Placing the flowers on the nightstand to the left of the California King bed she took a few steps back and admired the scene. She was more confused than ever. _The things you do to me Harvey Specter... _Rachel shook her head as she ran her digits through her slightly knotted brunette tresses. "I need to sleep..." It was more of a reminder than anything, knowing that she could spend the next hour admiring every smell and color of the flowers that were now resting only inches away from where she laid her head.

Rachel pulled open one of the many drawers that were filled to the brim with articles of clothing that had been purchased during unnecessary shopping sprees. Feeling the smooth silk texture of the orange camisole against the palm of her hands created a smile across her lips. Reaching against her shoulder blades the small metal zipper dangled between her fingertips causing Rachel to inch onto her tiptoes as though that would steady the small metal restraint long enough for her to tug on it. The sudden release of the skin tight fabric allowed the young woman to breathe freely, it was strange to realize just how constricting her work clothing truly was. Slipping the delicate camisole onto her body Rachel could feel her eyes beginning to grow heavy with every second that passed. _Ugh! I'll take that to the hamper in the morning...it's too damn far..._ Picking up the matching bottoms Rachel scrunched her nose and tossed them back into the drawer before sliding it shut. She already had to endure clingy clothing during the workday she was not about to tug every five minutes on her shorts to prevents them from sliding off due to her tossing and turning throughout the night. Running her fingertips across the top seam of her black lace underwear she decided she'd just sleep in those, there was no need for her to worry about whether or not the two objects matched. Rachel plopped onto the bed, the sheets immediately enveloping her frame from every angle. The warm smell of jasmine and vanilla filling her lungs as she nestled against the pillow. The sleepiness that had long begged to be hushed quickly took over her slender body. In a matter of minutes she found herself drifting off towards fantasy land, a smile permanently etched across he lips as she clutched onto the edge of the pillow.

* * *

All the lights across the skyline were beginning to disappear offering the senior partner a much needed break from his work. It was late and regardless of how much longer he spent staring at those documents he wouldn't be able to solve anything until he could reconvene with Jessica. Harvey tossed the grey folder onto the center of the already cluttered coffee table causing several documents to trickle off the edge. He buried his face into the palm of his hands, the brief moment of relaxation forced Harvey to realize just how fatigued he truly was. The mere thought of standing up created an ache across his back. It was tantalizing to just lay across the sofa and rest his eyes for a few hour before making his way home but then Rachel would win and he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of being right. Especially when he knew she would gloat and being able to handle her gleaming smile and mild mannered banter required at least five hours of sleep and even if he went straight home he'd be lucky to get two hours of rest. Letting out a sigh Harvey pressed his hands against his thighs as he slowly raised himself off of the sofa. Shutting off the lamp on the opposite end of the room he stood in front of the floor length windows, enjoying the darkness and the quite that came with it. Shoving his right hand into the pocket of his Burberry trousers Harvey searched for the slender length of his cell phone. Instinctively he dialed Ray's phone number and rose the phone to his ear. There was a long dial tone followed by an even longer pause, _Don't go to voice-mail...damn it Ray pick up the phone... _Ray wasn't paid nearly enough for him to answer the phone at four in the morning, maybe he _should_ have given him that raise. Harvey began pacing around the center of the room, his heart skipping a beat every time he believed to hear his drivers voice. He slid his hand into his trousers and began fumbling with the loose change that had collected in the pockets.

There was a raspy voice on the opposite end of the line, Harvey could almost see Ray wiping his tired eyes with the palm of his hands. "Hello?"

"I need you to pick me up at the firm." The tone in Harvey's voice was softer than he had intended.

"I'll be right there sir. Will we be giving Ms. Zane a ride home as well?" A loud creaking echoed through the phone as his personal driver crawled out of bed and began fumbling around his bedroom for a pair of trousers and button down shirt.

"No, she took the Corvette home."

"Okay sir, so will I be taking you straight home then picking up the Corvette?"

"No…yeah…actually, I want Rachel to keep the Corvette tonight so I'll just be going straight home."

"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Ray..." Harvey ran his digits through his ash brown tresses before clearing his throat. "Sorry for bothering you so late at night."

"It's fine Mr. Specter. I'll be there in a bit."

Harvey pressed his thumb against the red _end call_ button before sliding the phone back into his pocket. A loud ringing echoed against the empty walls of the firm. His eyes were immediately glued against the desk that had once belonged to his red headed secretary. Inching slowly to the now empty cubicle a wave of anger began traveling through his veins. How was it possible for his life to be falling apart? Donna, the only person that knew every side of him, was gone and avoiding his calls at every turn. He was on the verge of possibly being disbarred or sent to jail for something he hadn't done. Then there was Rachel who constantly felt hurt by his inability to share all the things that troubles him. What she failed to understand was that he kept things from her because he didn't want her to be burdened by his own wrong doings. It wasn't her responsibility to pick up the pieces of his life. Picking up the receiver the small red flashing light subsided momentarily, he didn't bother asking who was calling, it didn't matter to him. Slamming the phone down onto the table he prayed that they wouldn't dare call back, unsure of what he'd do if they did decide to make another call.

Pressing the small metallic button against the beige wall he waited for the elevator to crawl up to the fiftieth floor. His muscles ached with the agony of the long day that laid ahead of him tomorrow. All he wanted was to drink a warm cup of coffee and allow himself to drown in the cold water of a much needed shower. The metal doors burst open, a warm gust of air brushing against his body the moment he set foot inside the contraption. Feeling the elevator lowering past every floor the thought of Rachel quickly invaded his mind. She seemed to be the only constant in his life and at times that troubled him. She loved this woman, he knew that but he didn't know how to be the person Rachel needed him to be. He was unsure of whether or not he'd be willing to marry her, start a family with her, be _normal_ alongside her. She deserved someone far better than him.

Lowering his gaze onto the flooring of the elevator he began counting down each floor they passed. It helped slightly in pushing all other thoughts to the back of his mind. A loud vibration was emitted from the left pocket of his black trousers, _Ray's probably already outside..._His brows furrowed slightly upon seeing the name that was flashing against his screen. Opening the text message his eyes scrolled across every word and couldn't help but shake his head in frustration. _Damn it..._

* * *

Tracing the two metal numbers that were placed in the center of the white wooden door a small smirk formed at the corner of his lips. Harvey's knuckles beat firmly against the door, he waited for a few seconds before knocking once more. _She's already asleep.._ Digging into his trousers the cool feel of a small metal object between his thumb and index finger quickly caused the senior partner to feel slightly dumb about his previous actions. Harvey slid the key into the knob and the door clicked open with a simple tug. _Rachel... _The sight of her favorite leather jacket tossed carelessly onto the sofa forced the senior partner to smile. He couldn't help but find all her attributes both childish and adorable. _She's never heard of a hanger... _He picked up the jacket, the smell of her perfume seeping into his pores. Retrieving an empty hanger from the hallway closet he carefully hung the garment, making sure not to wrinkle it in the process.

Pacing around the empty living room Harvey couldn't help but feel like he was invading a very private portion of Rachel's life. Yes, he'd been there various times in the past but Rachel had always been by his side, chaperoning his every move. The thought of her sleeping only a few feet away, in the comfort of her bedroom sent a wave of emotions traveling through his frame. _Maybe I should leave..._ He knew it was stupid to come looking for her so late at night but he needed her by his side especially after having received the cryptic message from one of his clients. The expectation hadn't been to find her wide awake with a bowl of popcorn across her lap as she watched reruns of Will & Grace or that she'd be enjoying a quick meal before heading off to be. _I don't know what I'd expected…_ But, seeing the room empty and without the warmth that Rachel exuded whenever she was around made Harvey feel out of place. Filling his lungs with air his gaze locked onto the front door and decided it was probably best for him to leave.

It seemed as though his mind and body were at a disconnect. He felt himself being pulled towards the room on the far end of the floor. He rolled the knob forty five degrees, making sure not to create any loud noises that could startle the young paralegal. Harvey's eyes immediately traveled towards the petite frame that was wrapped inside a sea of white colored bedding. Sliding his jacket off of his body he placed it on the small metal chair that was located in front of the vanity. The bed creaked gently under the weight of the older male that slid carefully beside Rachel. He watched her sleep, her brunette tresses splayed across the surface of the pillow as her left hand was tucked gently beneath it. The feel of her warm skin beneath his fingertips forced him to inch closer. He traced the contours of her lips with his thumb, that taste of her kisses on the tip of his tongue. "You're beautiful." It was difficult being close enough to run his hands across every curve on her body but not be able to act on the urge that was traveling through his bones. He didn't deserve her, sitting beside her sleeping frame served to reinforce the bitter fact.

Rachel began to stir slightly, her hand tugging the comforter further up her body. "Rachel..." Harvey's voice was hushed, a mere whisper. His hands instinctively traveled to her face as he pushed away the stray brunette tresses. "Rachel..."

A muffled groan escaped the young woman's lips, "I'm tired..." He couldn't help but smile at the fact that he had just broken into her bedroom and all she wanted to do was sleep. She hadn't jumped in terror at the sight of his silhouette in the darkness or forced him to leave the room like so many times in the past. He now recognized that they were comfortable with one another in a way that he had never allowed himself to be with any other person.

"I need you to wake up."

"Uh uh..." The feel of his lips skimming the tender skin across her neck caused a soft groan to escape her. Sinking her fingers into his ash brown tresses she inched him closer not wanting the closeness between them to slip away. "Harvey, most normal people sleep at this time of day."

"And since when have you and I been normal people?"

Rachel dodged the question completely and shoved Harvey far enough to allow her to pull the covers over her head. "No," her response was muffled by the barrier she had created. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands he was beginning to feel the fatigue overwhelm his body. He pulled the linens away from Rachel's body and slowly crawled beside her. She immediately rested her head against his chest as her right arm slithered around his waist. "Sleep."

"Babe, I need you to wake up."

"_You_ crawled into bed with me so apparently whatever it is you need me to wake up for isn't that important." Rachel parted her eyes enough to meet Harvey's ochre hues. A smile formed across her lips at the sight of the man who was lying beside her. His hair was mussed and tousled reminding her of a small child after a long day of playing in the park, and his typically crisp shirt was now wrinkled and bunching around his middle. "I'm asleep." Rachel tugged on his white button down, she wanted to feel the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips.

"And since when do you talk in your sleep?" A soft laugh slipped from his lips.

She feigned complete disappointment in his lack of attention to details. "I talk in my sleep _all_ the time."

The cool feel of Rachel's hand slithering beneath his shirt forced Harvey to shut his eyes tightly. He needed her in his life, he needed to be laying beside her like this until the day he died. "I can't fix this alone." The words left a bitter taste across his tongue. Harvey Specter didn't do weakness, he was the best goddamn closer in all of New York for Christ's sake yet he couldn't dig himself out of the whole he was in by himself.

Rachel sat up slowly, never pulling her ochre hues away from Harvey. It pained her to see him so broken apart, she needed to know what was the cause of his ache. It was a bitter sweet moment for her, a part of Rachel was breaking into pieces knowing that Harvey was in trouble but the other side was slightly happy that he was finally letting her into his life. "What's wrong Harvey?" She stroked his cheek with the pad of her thumb, a look of concern painted across her face as she did so.

"It's a stupid client…I need to make sure he doesn't make things worse than they already are."

"I don't follow." Reaching her hands above her head Rachel collected her locks into a loose ponytail, several wisps of hair falling to frame her face.

Harvey shook his head quickly embodying his stoic façade once more. "Never mind. It's nothing."

"Don't….don't shut me out…." Biting the inside of her mouth anger was quickly flowing into her veins. "You do this every damn time." Rolling out of bed Rachel crawled her way to the opposite end of the room, using the windowsill for some much needed support. She was sure that if she looked at him for a moment longer she would crumble into a million little pieces.

"What are you talking about?

"What am I talking about?….This." She motioned at the distance between there bodies. "You always push me away. You share your problems with Donna, Mike and Jessica but when it comes to me you just shut down. Why the hell won't you talk to me about it? Why do you always come to me as a last resort?" A stream of tears were beginning to form behind her ochre hues, clenching her fists tightly she forced them not to spill. He didn't deserve to see her cry.

"Because you shouldn't have to deal with my problems." Harvey slid out of the bed and inched slowly towards Rachel making sure not to meet her gaze.

"But that's what people in a relationship do. They rely on one another for support but with you it's like I'm just any other paralegal at the firm. I don't feel like I'm your fucking girlfriend!" And there it was, the fear that she had been keeping buried deep within her soul was now out in the open. The facility in which Harvey was able to switch from loving, affection boyfriend to egotistical, self absorbed boss scared her. _What if one day he just decides I'm not enough for him? _She knew Harvey could have any woman he wanted. The charm he exuded through his pores was something no woman could ignore and the voices in the back of Rachel's mind constantly reminded her of it.

"I love you." The three little words escaped his lips without much thought, it almost felt natural. Plastering their bodies against the floor length windows he could feel Rachel's warm breath against his chest. The slow rising and fall of her breathing slowly lulling his anger to sleep. Looking into her ochre hues he could see the bitterness that had seeped into the beautiful flickers of gold that were splashed across her eyes. "I love you…" He felt the need to repeat it once more and as he did so Harvey searched for an answer across her face, for a confirmation that the feeling was mutual.

"Bullshit…" The jab was soft, almost a whisper yet it daggered his heart with as much force as a freight train.

"I need you okay. I can't explain everything to you right now but I just need you to come with me."

"Go where?" Rachel rested her forehead against his chest unable to look at him for another second longer.

"Atlantic City." A loud groan echoed against his chest as Rachel buried herself even deeper against his body.

"At four in the morning? What the hell is going on?"

"I'll explain everything on the car ride there." Harvey kissed the top of her head as he wound his right arm around Rachel's slender figure, pressing her fatigued body further against his. The smell of her perfume intoxicating his senses with every breath he took. "Are you coming with me?"

_No…_ "Yes." _Damn it!.…_She didn't want to peel herself away from him, not now. Hearing his heartbeat echo against her ear drew a smile across her lips. It was a sign that he was real, that he was in her arms, that it wasn't all just a figment of her imagination. "I'd rather just stay here and lay in bed with you and pretend we didn't have to go back to work in three hours." Slithering her arms down his midsection she allowed her hands to drift to his trousers, biting her bottom lip innocently she began unbuttoning the black Burberry slacks.

"Rachel…we have to go…we can't…"

"God…I hate you so much right now." A pained expression quickly erased any pleasure that had once been painted across her orbs.

"I hate myself too."

"I'm guessing you're expecting me to wear some incredibly uncomfortable shoes and a dress that makes it impossible for me to breath right?" Harvey didn't need to bother responding, his eyes whispered gently _sorry. "_Right." Pressing her hands against his chest she motioned for the man to take several steps backwards. If she was going to be forced to wear a swanky dress and four inch tall stilettos she didn't want Harvey near enough to nag her to hurry up. "Get out, I need to change."

"Seriously? You just wanted to have sex and now you want to kick me out while you change. You do know I've seen you naked before right?" A smirk couldn't help but form at the corner of his lips.

Rachel darted him a heated glare, "Yeah well you kinda turned down the sex so you don't deserve the pleasure of seeing me prance around my room in an underwear and bra."

"Try to take less than an hour."

"Not making any promises."

Harvey raised his hands in defeat as he inched towards the bedroom door, a chuckle echoing from the base of his throat.

"Wait, I have to wear a skin tight dress and you're gonna show up looking like that?" She pointed towards his incredibly unpolished outfit scrunching her nose in disapproval.

"Ray's dropping off a tux in a few minutes."

"Thank god because you look like shit." Her soft laugh echoed against the hardwood floor as she made her way towards her closet, rummaging through the endless wardrobe options.

"I'll be watching the game."

"You better not erase Will & Grace off the DVR!"

"I'm scared of what you'll do to me if I do."

Rachel looked over her shoulder and noticed that Harvey was lingering in the doorway, a small smirk plastered across his lips. "I love you." It was different this time, she no longer felt silly for admitting her feelings. She loved him and she would continue loving him for as long as she lived.

"I love you too." Hearing him voice those three small words sent a wave of happiness traveling through her veins. He loved her, she was important to him and now she was able to hold onto that. His confession of what he felt for her would be her life raft when she found herself drowning in a pit of loneliness. They would offer her comfort when Harvey decided to shut her out of another facet of himself. They would force her to hold on for dear life to the relationship that they had. He loved her and that was all that mattered.


	3. Darkness

So I know I said this chapter was going to be about Harvey and Rachel going to Atlantic City but as I started writing it I kinda felt that there needs to be a bit of a struggle in Rachel. I think we all noticed that Harvey's not the type to be all commitment and rainbows (well unless it involves Mike lol) and I kinda imagined that any person wanting to be with Harvey have to be constantly questioning what the hell they got themselves into. So...that was kinda the inspiration for this and also I felt that getting to _that_ part of the story would leave out a large portion of both of their own fears and such.

Please tell me what you think, was it too much? Should I just have gone straight to Atlantic City? Let me know! Your comments and critiques are what help mold the story.

_I struggled a lot with this chapter, I wasn't really sure where I wanted to take it..._

Questions, Comments and Critiques are both loved and appreciated! (To be quite honest with you it's kinda what keeps me motivated to write!)

Much Love,

Stefany xoxo

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE:

**Next Chapter?** Client gambles away his company, Rachel babysits the client, Harvey gambles a bit and then things get freaky between them lol.

* * *

**Paradise.**

You've left me in the dark.

No dawn, no day,

I'm always in this twilight in the shadow of your heart.

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map

&you knew somehow I could find my way back...

&you heard my heart beating,

You were darkness too so I stayed in the darkness with you.

* * *

The reflection staring back was of a woman who had lost her way, a woman who was facing an internal power struggle. Every fear, dream and aspiration running through her veins was brightly painted across the mirror. Blotches of blues, greens and yellows spelled out exactly why she should be frightened. She was blindly handing her heart to a man that was unable to share his entire world with her and now her brain was the one taking the reigns. Every ounce of sanity in her frame shouted that what she was doing was insane; she was basing her happiness on the success of a man that was unable to love selflessly and unconditionally. Running her slender digits across the gleaming surface of the vanity Rachel could feel a heaviness brewing in the pit of her stomach. Moments before she had agreed to follow Harvey on a journey to meet a man who seemed to only deepen the wounds that were scratched across the senior partners body. Locking her golden hues with the woman sitting inches away Rachel saw the defeat that was masked by the flickers of green and brown that were scattered throughout her orbs. _I'm scared..._ It was a fear like nothing she had experienced in her twenty-nine years of existence. Fearing what was to come after everything was resolved and Harvey was exonerated from the crime he had not committed bounced across her mind. Yes, he needed her now but would he still need her after his life had reverted back to its pristine condition?

Rachel could no longer gaze at her reflection, it pained her to know just how unhappy she truly was with her life. That smile that was constantly plastered across her face was nothing more than a mask to hide the demons that were slowly nibbling at her self worth. _Maybe I just need to walk away..maybe I need to find who the hell I am..._ She had never been the type of person to define her own self worth based on the accomplishments of the person she was in a relationship with. Rachel had always done what she wanted, never needing incessant reminders of just how great she was doing or daily vows of undying love. All that had changed drastically the moment she met Harvey, everything about him made the young paralegal feel inadequate. She needed constant reminders of just how much he loved her in order to feel safe and happy with herself. It was as though her greatest weakness happened to be a man with the words _senior partner_ scrawled outside his office and dozens of well tailored suits. _God what the hell is wrong with me?_ Shaking her head continuously Rachel attempted to hush the voices that were causing her mind to spin. Life was falling out of her control, there was nothing that seemed stable or real anymore. The more she sat in front of the vanity over analyzing the state of her life the more broken and confused the young woman felt. It was as though she were suspended on the edge of a cliff and life was testing her problem solving skills, or lack there of.

Rachel was abruptly awoken from her trance by a loud pounding that emanated from the living room. _Ray.._ A small sigh escaped from her lips as she knew that it was time for her to paint a glimmering smile across her lips and pretend as though everything in the world was perfectly fine. Grabbing the patent leather clutch off of the vanity she peeled the small clasp open and began pouring in a series of objects: her favorite Yves Saint Laurent lipstick in _Le Orange_, a small ornately decorated compact, her white iphone and all the loose money as well as a few credit cards that had been tucked away in her wallet. It took all her strength to rise from the small metal chair that had been the only thing keeping her from falling into the ground and crumbling into pieces. Lingering momentarily in the doorway Rachel attempted to collect herself, she shut her eyes tightly and continuously repeated beneath her breath, _he loves you...he loves you...he wouldn't be here if he didn't._ Sadly enough the inspirational mantra was not enough to ease the anxiousness that was running through her bones.

A soft, raspy voice called out to Rachel. "Ready?"

Clutching her bag tightly between both hands she couldn't bring herself to meet Harvey's gaze. "Yeah, let's go."Brunette tresses cascaded down her back in loose waves, skimming the sequin encrusted bust line of the black satin dress. Every curve across her petite frame was kissed gently by the material that floated with every step of the young paralegal's Louis Vuittons. The feel of a cool hand slithering around her waist, inching her body closer caused a groan to form in the base of her throat. _Damn it!..._ Her body was unwilling to cooperate with the plan she had devised in her mind only seconds before.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired..." A faint smile appeared on the corner of her lips as she ran her digits through her tresses.

Harvey parted his lips slightly but then decided against speaking, instead he looked over Rachel's shoulder and gave Ray a slight nod. There was a hidden understanding between the two males and Ray simply nodded in return and shut the front door slowly. "What's wrong?" Harvey repeated once more, a bitter tone beneath his words.

"Nothing Harvey, I already told you I'm just tired. It's kinda four in the morning and we have to be back at work by seven." Rachel couldn't meet his gaze but he knew his eyes were locked against her olive skin, she could feel the heat that radiated from his gaze slowly enveloping her entire body.

"Stop lying to me Rachel." There was a slight tug on her chin that forced the young woman to lock her orbs against Harvey's ochre hues. She was looking at him for the first time since she'd kicked him out of her bedroom and her mind finally registered why she'd fought so intently against meeting his gaze, _he's flawless..._ A tired sigh escaped from her lips as she broke free from his hold. Standing several feet away from him she ran her hues all along his muscular frame in one swift sweep. The pitch black tuxedo outlined his broad shoulders as the lapels served as a guide that lead any woman's eyes directly to his slender waist and the bow tie only served to further intensify the chiseled jaw line that she could recall nipping into countless nights ago.

"What do you want from me?" Rachel tossed the clutch onto the sofa, a loud thud echoing against her ears.

"What you're talking about?"

"Where the hell is this going?" She motioned towards their bodies, hoping that his deciphering skills would kick in to play some time soon because she was in no mood to have to over simply her feelings just so he could comprehend them.

"I don't follow...What caused this sudden change? You were fine a few seconds ago."

"I wasn't _fine_ a few seconds ago, I haven't been fine for a very long time!" There was an ache that was slowly inching its way into her muscles forcing the paralegal to slump onto the couch. Burying her face into the palm of her hands Rachel could feel her soul scratching to break free. So many doubts and fears were taunting Rachel and all they wanted was to be released into the air. "Do you think this makes me happy?" Her words were barely audible, muffled by the palms of her hands.

Harvey looked at the woman who was now only a fragment of the independent, strong willed individual he had grown to love. All he wanted was to take her into his arms and lull the pain she was feeling. He wanted to take her pain away but the task seemed all the more complicated as he realized that _he_ was the cause of all her ache. "Rachel..."

"What role do I play in your life? It seems like you only come to me when there's no one else to turn to. When things are fine and perfect it's like you hide yourself away from me, you always turn to Donna or Mike or even Jessica to make you happy and I'm just stuck in the sidelines looking at how well you are without me. It's like this relationship...is this even called a relationship?...is just about sex. Is that all I am to you?" The frustration behind Rachel's voice was no longer masked, she didn't want to hide it, she needed Harvey to grasp just how fucked up her life was. A small stream of tears was begging to be released and Rachel could no longer keep them at bay.

Raising her gaze slightly Harvey could see the mixture of emptiness and pain that was scattered across her orbs. Inching his way towards Rachel he knelt beside her, slowly wiping away the tears that had began leaving small trails against her cheek. "You're not just sex to me and you know that."

A scoff couldn't help but escape Rachel's lips, "I don't know anything anymore." Biting her bottom lip gently she began clutching the silk fabric into her hands, creating small lumps across the once smooth surface.

"What do you need me to say?'

"I need you to tell me that you love me. I need you to say that this isn't some temporary thing. I need you to tell me that you actually see a future for us. Can you look at me and honestly say to me that you want to be with me?" She searched across his face hoping that the answer she was searching for would magically appear.

"Rachel, I love you. This isn't just some temporary thing." Hearing him utter those two small phrases only served to leave her with an even emptier feeling. Yes, the tone was sincere and maybe he did love her but the pained expression across his face said more than any words ever could. He had failed to provide an answer to the third part of her question, _I need you to tell me that you actually see a future for us..._He didn't see a future or maybe he just didn't want to think that far ahead, either way Rachel felt her entire world shatter around her. It was like all her hopes and dreams were no longer plausible simply because the man that was sitting beside her couldn't fathom spending his entire life with her.

"Right..." Shaking her head Rachel forced a smile onto her lips. _I'm done..._ But she wasn't done, she knew that it wasn't as simple as that. Just because she thought those two small words and wanted to act on them didn't mean she actually would. There was something in her heart that wouldn't allow her to walk away no matter how badly her brain told her it was the right thing to do. Needing a man simply to be happy was something Rachel never thought she'd succumb to. Harvey could see a life without her yet the idea of never being able to touch him, hear him or kiss him made Rachel want to crawl into a hole. "I think you should go see this client of yours by yourself." Rising from the couch slowly she inched her way towards her bedroom. Every pore in her body screamed for her to stop, begged for her to just accept the situation and make the most of it for as long as it lasted. _But I'm better than that..._She knew she was better than that. She knew she deserved the love of someone that truly wanted to be by her side, she knew there was someone out there that would love and appreciate all she had to give.

"Don't walk away." Harvey darted towards Rachel, he couldn't let her walk away, he couldn't let her build a wall between them once more. Every ounce of sanity that coursed through his veins urged the senior partner to admit that he couldn't imagine a life that didn't revolve around Rachel. He had never been the type of man to share his feelings with another person. At a young age he'd learned that hearts get broken, woman lie and the minute you think that there is nothing in the world that could hurt you your entire life comes crashing down. It didn't take a genius to see that the love that Rachel offered him was real and genuine but a small voice in the back of Harvey's mind prevented him from taking that leap of faith.

"You're the one _making_ me walk away, don't you get that?"

"Babe, I need you to listen to me."

"Don't...don't slip in "babe" because you think it'll make everything better."

"_Rachel_ just let me talk to you. We can't figure things out if you're not willing to talk like two adults."

"Why did you come here? Was Mike already sleeping and you didn't want to interrupt his beauty sleep? Or is it since Donna got fired a week ago and won't return your phone calls?" Rachel tugged on the large slender heel of her stilettos and slipped them off of her feet, the cool feel of the wooden floor beneath her aching toes was a welcomed feeling. _I just want you to leave...just leave me alone..._

"I came here because I _need_ you there with me." Harvey didn't dare set foot inside her bedroom knowing it was her safe haven, the one place other than the beach that made the young paralegal feel protected and comforted. Lingering in the doorway he watched as Rachel unclasped the black and gold studded earrings and tossed them carelessly into a jewelry box.

"Bullshit."

Frustration was beginning to seep into his pores, it took every ounce of strength within him to not race across the room, plaster her against the wall and kiss her until she understood just how important she was to him. "What part of that is bullshit?"

"All of it. You never _need_ me, you come and find me whenever your first, second and third choices don't come through for you."

A loud groan escaped from his lips, "Why is that always your defense? You act like I'm keeping our relationship a secret. Everyone in the damn firm knows I'm with you! Jessica knows, Mike knows, Donna knows, hell even Louis knows."

Rachel turned to face him, several brunette tresses sliding down her shoulder as she slumped into the chair in front of her vanity. She felt as though all the air in her lungs had vanished, it was difficult to piece together a coherent thought let alone a counter argument to Harvey's statement. "I uh-...since when?"

"The day after we went out to dinner. Apparently being around you makes me less of an asshole and Jessica couldn't help but notice."

"She never said anything to me about it."

"I told her not to say anything. If you forgot you hate people thinking that you can't do things on your own."

"Harvey Specter...why the hell do you do this to me?" Shutting her eyes tightly Rachel didn't know how to sift through all the information that was quickly flooding her mind. She was at a complete loss, _I don't know what to do._

'"I'll see you at work tomorrow." His hands slid off of the metal doorknob as he tucked his left hand into the pocket of the black trousers. Lowering his gaze onto the ground Harvey knew that he had just lost one of he best things he'd ever had though he would never allow himself to admit it.

"Wait!...wait..." Rachel raised her hand in defeat, unsure of what the hell she wanted to say next. He constantly sent her on a roller-coaster ride, one minute she was pissed off at him for failing to make a commitment and the next she felt happy and overwhelmed by the notion that everyone in the office had pried him about their relationship and he hadn't denied it, instead he had embraced the whole situation and allowed everyone to know that he loved her. Using the vanity as support she slid the chair back and rose from the chair, her mind consciously attempting to figure out what her next move was going to be. Picking up the long black skirt of the satin gown she made her way towards Harvey who remained in the doorway, his hues locked against her body. "Why do you need to go to Atlantic City at four in the morning?"

"I owe this guys a favor."

"For what?"

"Rach, it's something that I need to fix. I have to make sure the idiot doesn't gamble away his company." Their was a heaviness behind his hues that forced Rachel's features to soften a bit. The feel of fingertips caressing the skin along his cheekbone allowed him to finally set foot within the bedroom.

"Why?" Her voice was a mere whisper as Rachel rested her forehead against his shoulder. She wanted to help, she _needed_ to help him even though she knew she'd end up hating herself for it the following morning. Reverting back to her old ways she was putting Harvey before everything, she was putting him before herself and that was what pained her the most. Pulling away from him Rachel locked their ochre hues and realized he was unwilling to share the information. "Oh, right...you'll tell me once we get to the car. Why can't you tell me here in the comfort of my home?"

"Rachel, I just have to go. You should get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Why do you always do that? You shut me out all the damn time. There is nothing you could possibly do that would ever hurt me more than you shutting me out does." Rachel ran her digits through her brunette tresses and released a soft sigh. It was clear that were going to continue going around in circles until one of them caved in. This time she was going to be the one to walk away and just let things play out however they needed to unfold. _Maybe getting some sleep won't be such a bad thing...he can go and solve his own damn problems..._Retrieving a metallic hair clip from the vanity she collected her tousled waves into a loose bun that hung lazily along the nape of her neck. She bit the inside of her mouth as she began growing impatient by both Harvey's silence and the fact that he was still near the doorway staring at her intently. He knew exactly what he was doing to her; she'd always hated it when he over analyzed her body language and facial expressions it made her feel like she was a defendant in one of his many court cases. Rachel knew he was plotting a way to break her but she wasn't going to allow herself to fall so easily, she needed him to fight for her, to prove that this wasn't just some bullshit adventure.

"I thought you were leaving," The iciness behind her words caused Harvey to furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"I am..." But, he didn't bother moving instead Harvey continued to watching the young paralegal. His gaze followed her petite frame as it disappeared into the depths of her walk-in closet. "Rachel..."

_You don't give up do you? Ugh!..._ Rachel inched her fingertips to the small metal zipper that was sewn along the left side of her figure, feeling the cool surface against her digits she tugged on it gently, almost instantly her entire body began drowning in relief as the satin gown slithered down her body and formed a pool of fabric around her feet. She didn't bother picking up the gown, it was too much of an effort to steam and place it into a garment bag. All her body wanted to do was lunge into the bed and forget about everything: forget about Harvey, work, the mounds of paperwork that would surely be piled on her desk and the fact that she needed to go to her sister's bridal fitting that following afternoon. _My life is such a shit hole..._ Shaking her head in annoyance Rachel could feel her muscles begging for rest, they were whispering their pleads against her ear and it took every ounce of strength in her body to not comply with their demands.

"Rachel...stop..." Harvey's silky voice hummed along her ears.

"Are you waiting to make sure I _actually_ crawl into bed? I'm a big girl Harvey I don't need you to tuck me in." Rummaging through the black shelves across the right wall of the closet Rachel pulled out a gray linen robe and slid her arms into the warm embrace the fabric provided.

"That wasn't my plan but thanks for the heads up." Harvey reached towards the wooden floor to retrieve the silk gown that Rachel had left scattered on the ground. He ran his hand across the smooth fabric, the warm scent of lavender filling his lungs with every breath. Harvey knew better than to pretend he knew where things belonged in her closet so he settled on placing the dress on one of the leather ottomans that was inches away.

"Shouldn't this be the part where you leave?" Rachel didn't bother thanking Harvey. it was a small gesture on his part but she knew it was his way of apologizing.

"Yeah, I probably should." Reaching into his Lanvin trousers Harvey tugged on the slender contraption that was buzzing against his leg. He ran his thumb against the screen of his phone as he saw Ray's name blaring in large letters repeatedly. Bringing the phone to his ear Harvey nodded several times in agreement as he listened intently to the raspy voice on the opposite end. He looked down at his gold tones Rolex before releasing a tire filled sigh, _Damn it! Ketih's on his fourth drink_... Every fiber in his body wanted to remain in that room with Rachel, he wanted to piece everything back together but it seemed that the entire world was against him doing so. Keith was screwing everything up royally, in the last two hours he had managed to lose two million dollars and drown in the depths of an entire bottle of whiskey. Pressing the red _end call_ button on the screen Harvey ran his right hand through his neatly coiffed ash tresses, exhaustion quickly transforming his typically composed demeanor into one of annoyance and defeat. "Good night." He slowly crawled towards Rachel, an apology inked across ever inch of his face.

Rachel folded her arms across her chest determined to not accept the olive branch he was extending. Yet, it seemed that her body had a different plan because before she could process her movements Rachel felt herself striding to Harvey. The feel of his chest rising and falling rhythmically all her anxiety began to melt away. _Why the hell do I have to love you?..._ Rachel felt a moan growling in the pit of her stomach, aching to break free the moment Harvey's warm tongue crashed against the skin along her collar bone. "Stop.." The senior partner feigned ignorance to her comment, his hand kneading against the skin on her thigh. He didn't want to pull away, every fiber of his being wanted to drown in her body and hear her breathy voice whispering his name throughout the night. "Harvey, you need to leave."

Her arms slung onto his shoulders, inching him away slowly as a pained look quickly enveloped the mans face. All he could manage to do was nod in agreement. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Rachel whispered gently. She stood frozen in the center of her bedroom watching as the man she loved disappeared into the depths of her living room. It'd be a lie to say Rachel didn't feel the urge to run after him and tell him to be careful but she couldn't. They needed space from each other. She needed to figure out what the hell she wanted next but most importantly Rachel needed to determine whether or not Harvey had a place in her future. A loud thump echoed through the empty apartment as Harvey slammed the door behind his fatigued frame. _Be Careful..._ Biting her bottom lip gently Rachel twisted her slender body towards the vanity, the woman looking back at her had a red stained smile across her lips. Retrieving her phone from the large bed she tossed it back and forth, from right hand to her left hand. _Don't look at me like that...This isn't fucking funny!..._ But the reflection continued taunting the young paralegal, reminding her that she was never going to be enough for Harvey. Rachel could feel her blood begin to boil as it coursed through her veins. In a matter of seconds the young woman found herself throwing the slender contraption against the delicate mirror of the vanity. Millions of shards flew in every angle, a loud pang echoing against the wooden floor as it drizzled onto the ground. She was gone; the woman that had spent the entire night pointing out every reason why she was a failure was no longer able to open those wounds again. She was gone...for now. Rachel knew that she'd find a way to slither back in. She knew that her own lack of worth would seep into her mind when she was the most vulnerable. The ache hidden in her muscles forced her feet to crumble beneath the weight of the burdens she carried. Her gray robe billowed beneath Rachel's frame as her knees slammed against the hard wood floor. _Ugh! What am I supposed to do?...What am I supposed to do?..._


End file.
